Venus, the planet of love, is now squaring Neptune, the planet of high ideals and sweet dreams, the higher octave of Venus. That is love on love, a huge over-dose of beauty. Are you ready to either let go or let live? Are you ready to be inspired by the sweetest love around or to cry your brave tears because such a love is not to be found? Maybe you should consider stretching your mind to the sky. The best love is the one that is always around. And that is the love you find inside after the bucket of pain is emptied.
If you have this natally, you know exactly how much of a challenge it is to figure out whether or not your are simply dreaming or if the love is real. Or, if the preferred lover will either live up to your hope or show up at all. You also know that you constantly have to strive to maintain healthy boundaries and assert yourself in any relationship, as you hate seeing people in pain and you are not going to be the one who is the cause of pain what-so-ever. So you forgive. Before you’d even done anything wrong.
Ok. Maybe you said no. Or simply refused to answer. Or maybe you had one foot into the relationship and the other out, but that is just because you know that without an ego to put down healthy boundaries, the only option is sometimes to run. Especially if your lover turns out to be toxic and you didn’t realize that until you suddenly lived together, and then you really freaked out. Developing a healthy ego can be so hard that retiring from relationships altogether might be the easier option. And eventually, after you’d retired long enough, you realize that loneliness is ok and love isn’t always what it promised. You are done with falling in love with love and will rather take the long, existential crises it is to see if there is a pot of gold on the end of the rainbow, and see if love truly can live in such a harsh environment as our earth. Can love live even though life is not perfect?
With this current Venus-square-Neptune, we will get to test-drive how it feels to live with this natally.
The kick for Venus-Neptune is the much-talked-about Soul Mate Love, a collective dream that circulates thanks to great authors like Shakespear and his like. Union. Venus and Neptune are both related to union with something greater than ourselves. And it is true, being just you all the time can be boring. At least not so interesting as being with someone else. Especially if that someone else is just the perfect completion of yourself. The right partner to talk to. The same sense of humor. The perfect chemistry. All the stuff that is so easy to find to begin with. Before the shadows appear and eclipse the Sun of Love. Before reality is splashed into the eyes of hopes and dreams and the work begins.
I must sound like a cynic who lost all romance going so hard out against the Big Love. It is not that I do not believe in it, because I actually do. But the thing that I hope to raise some awareness about, is not this kind of love, but our fantasies around them. It is these that ties us down and make us miserable. Love never seems to be perfect enough or if it is perfect, it is out of reach.
These hopes have been created by our culture since men and women got together in the first place, because the heart is a magical place and it is understandable that we want more of this while we first are here in life. Meeting someone that touch your heart, that makes your heart expand and vibrate, that makes your field filled with the sweet scent of love, makes your eyes glitter and sparkle. That shit is real and it is deeply enchanting. And there is actually plenty of it out there. But it depends entirely on your open heart and whether or not you are able to shine that freely. Love suffers in jail.
Love is its own law. It takes no orders. Tom Robbins, the author of books such as “Jitterbug Perfume” and “Another Roadside Attraction” calls love the perfect outlaw.
“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words “make” and “stay” become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”
Yes, we’ve all tried to box it in. To claim love ours. To chase after it, demanding God to give us what we want. To rule others according to our own needs. It doesn’t work so well. Instead of trying to change your partner, perhaps it then would be better to change partner to someone who you don’t have to change? Get to know yourself so well, that you know what you can live with and what you cannot. Learn to not lose yourself in others and set firm boundaries when needed.
Since so many of our patterns morph into co-dependency, there is a need to also learn the art of being alone and be fine with that. You are born alone, you die alone. And there is an aloneness inherent in all. Energetically it is a state of separation and this separation from a deeper source can be quite necessary in the course of evolution climbing the ladder towards a deeper understanding, towards greatness and adventure. Towards being the master of destiny.
Shakespeare was born around that time when Venus-Neptune made it to a conjunction in wordy and eloquent Gemini.
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind”
“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”
How do we recognise love? If we cannot recognise it, we will withdraw after the initial collision and slowly kill it in fear. Return to safer grounds. A talking heart is not to be mistaken, however the heart is a flower that can just as easily close as it will open. And it often does. Those who had their hearts touced often run to hide afterwards and this is causing a lot of pain. It is too much, too bright, too strong, too inconvenient, too, tooo.
Being alive to such a degree as to wear your heart on the sleeve is not for everybody. Falling in love can be dangerous especially because we are driven by our desires and not the mind’s eye or the hearts clear pulse. To mistake the two is where illusions come in. Our idealised hopes. The hope that this love can deliver freedom from darkness, freedom from pain.
Theoretically Venus-Neptune loves all, they have the ability to see good in the bad, and the Venus-Neptune person has to wrestle a long time with oneself to not be hurt or angry, and they hurry along to forgive.
Falling in love and living love are two different things. It does not mean that falling in love is not real. Falling in love is the madness that allows the bonds to be created and the children to be conceived. But the actual falling in love is very, very tricky. Can you through the fog of mystery see clearly? We know falling in love affects the parts of the brain that also drugs affect, so why should we trust it?
The phases of Venus-Neptune is first the innocent, love-all attitude. Then the second stage is that we are suddenly shocked to life by deceit or loss, and thus gaining awareness. Then we are being challenged to set healthy boundaries, learning to say no, and thus releasing unhealthy attachments, and eventually we have to learn to not be bitter or so skeptical of love that there is a refusal to ever fall in love again ever. There will be a point when we have to open up again to love.
And let ourselves fall back into it. That can be a big choice when realizing that there is no guarantee that you’d be safe. But perhaps this time you know your boundaries better, perhaps this time around you are more independent and free and therefore immune to bullshit, powergames, projections and toxic dramas.
I once read a story to my daughter. It was Snowhite, but not the Disney version (Disney was Venus inconjunct Neptune btw) of glossy love. No, it was a rather different take on it and the whole point seemed to be that Snowhite, the Dwarfs and the Prince all had the ability to look into the hearts of others and see whether or not they had dignity, grace and true love in them. That made them recognise good in a world of deceit.
This image stayed with me and matured my ability to navigate life with an open heart. The heart is a channel of expression and when you meet those who touch it deeply, there is a boost of love and joy. It is not often you meet people who have an open heart, humanity is still lost in self-depreciation so we dare not the spontaneous act of the open heart. The chances of being deceived are many today. But if you want to experience the warm hue of love, you should strive to keep yours open. And be patiente.
Whereas love is sharing and forgiving, able to hold space as an emphatic intuition, the solar plexus and the instincts are separating, survinging, not sharing, always battling. It is where we go into fights saying ”the world is to blame for all, I am free of sin”.
The heart says otherwise as the heart is union. You keep coming back to love, which doesn’t mean that you will be close to a person you feel is very toxic, but you keep a loving distance, in patience.
And herein lies the little challenge for those who have these big, pulsating open hearts and an always understanding personality. They tend to draw to them people who they have to learn to love themselves, by comforting or reassuring that they are loved. It is nice with a reminder from time to time, but always needing someone else to feel love is a dependency. And then dependency there is no freedom. Love is eclipsed. We cannot be plastered all the time, otherwise we will never move out of our addictions.
And if you are one of those comforting, always pleasing, always reassuring others, always the forgiving one, perhaps you have to look into yourself and see if you sometimes are driven into this due to your own obsession with beauty and harmony. Venus-Neptune thrives when there is harmony, but relationships aren’t always harmony. At all.
Learning to fight, to stand up for yourself and say enough is enough will set things in balance again. Perhaps you need to let go.
If you on the other hand, are one of those who are skeptical, always planning love, loosen up! Let love happen. Surrender into the arms of love and fake it till you make it, have faith that you are loved!
My conclusion about ”SoulLove” is that it takes conscious people, awakened people, with open hearts and strong abilities to listen in order to manifest. We will never be perfect, so we just have to find ways to live with who we are, and if we are happy with ourselves, love will eventually knock on our doors.
This SoulLove is bigger than you thought, and more scary, more challenging, demanding your true courage. It invites you to release the past and trust life again. This kind of love is what artists write about and people dream of. So if you want to level up and become free, do not manipulate love. Let it be!
And if it is there tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that one too. Then it is part of your life and it is real, not fantasy.
Since true love is setting others free, never forcing, all we can do is watching the unfoldment and when the time is due for decisions, you’ll know. But do not fall in the trap of waiting and waiting and waiting. At one point, love requires proper action.
This is Venus-Neptune. It is a call for a deeper beauty. The true, the good and the beautiful. Where there is truth, there is good, and then there is beauty.
So staying true to yourself is the path that leads to beauty as a state of life and a state of mind.